I was blessed to be able to attend a wonderful yoga workshop today at the North Bend Yoga Shala. We, about 13 women and one man warmed up with many sun salutations and postures for two hours. Then we embarked on a meditation instruction from our instructor Cherenes mother.
Before I went into this workshop I had the intention of letting go of my fears and becoming more grounded and confident in myself. I want to be confident in the inspiration that I receive instead of uncertain as to weather it is inspiration or not.
As I was doing my sun salutations Cherene the instructor asked us to breathe out the old and breathe in the new. I began to tear up and feel a well up of emotions. I continued my salutations and asked myself what it was I was feeling. The only thing I came up with was that my fears were about someone like my mother. A woman figure that I loved very much. I was not clear weather is was my mother or who but that is all I got from that moment.
Later after two hours of working hard on postures we relaxed and began to meditate. The first meditation was without instruction. We just went for it for a few minutes and I felt an inner battle inside my thoughts crying out for peace and tranquility. It was a familiar feeling of wanting to crawl away into a dark place where I could be all alone and just breath without any expectations, or demands on me. A longing for that has been with me for some time! [As I write this I recognize what that emotion has been for all this time, it has been me telling myself that I want to meditate and go within! I guess it could be that I need more sleep.] During the second meditation we had some posture directions to focus on keeping our bodies upright and relaxed but engaged. As I was meditating I felt a little stress because I was trying to keep my body engaged and it kept wanting to relax more. I felt my body nod of about three times during the session. I had a few seconds of interesting light filling my mind. After we had some questions and answer time and I learned that everything that does not bring you closer to yourself is just a distraction. The nodding off was a distraction and she asked us to take a look at our lives and how are we checking out or how does it fit in the way we are in our lives?
I completely relate to that, I do check out when the going gets annoying or ridiculous to me. Especially in conversations that are pointless.
After we were finished I went up to ask the instructor Michelle a few more questions and during, I got emotional about the fact that she brought up the fear and love and that there are only those two things and we have to chose which we want to be in. It was exactly what I asked for because I am working to overcome my fears. While talking to her I felt another familiar feeling that I sometimes feel with my mother. I felt that I loved this woman and that I wanted to get all the information I could form her for my life. I wanted to take her home and ask her questions all throughout my daily life. It was similar to the feeling of missing someone that you love so much.
On my way home I realized that the person I missed was the true me inside of me and that to get more in touch with her and let her out is to meditate and go inside of myself. I have what those awesome women like Michelle, my mother and Cherene have inside of me and that is why I recognize it in them and love and miss it.
Before I went into this workshop I had the intention of letting go of my fears and becoming more grounded and confident in myself. I want to be confident in the inspiration that I receive instead of uncertain as to weather it is inspiration or not.
As I was doing my sun salutations Cherene the instructor asked us to breathe out the old and breathe in the new. I began to tear up and feel a well up of emotions. I continued my salutations and asked myself what it was I was feeling. The only thing I came up with was that my fears were about someone like my mother. A woman figure that I loved very much. I was not clear weather is was my mother or who but that is all I got from that moment.
Later after two hours of working hard on postures we relaxed and began to meditate. The first meditation was without instruction. We just went for it for a few minutes and I felt an inner battle inside my thoughts crying out for peace and tranquility. It was a familiar feeling of wanting to crawl away into a dark place where I could be all alone and just breath without any expectations, or demands on me. A longing for that has been with me for some time! [As I write this I recognize what that emotion has been for all this time, it has been me telling myself that I want to meditate and go within! I guess it could be that I need more sleep.] During the second meditation we had some posture directions to focus on keeping our bodies upright and relaxed but engaged. As I was meditating I felt a little stress because I was trying to keep my body engaged and it kept wanting to relax more. I felt my body nod of about three times during the session. I had a few seconds of interesting light filling my mind. After we had some questions and answer time and I learned that everything that does not bring you closer to yourself is just a distraction. The nodding off was a distraction and she asked us to take a look at our lives and how are we checking out or how does it fit in the way we are in our lives?
I completely relate to that, I do check out when the going gets annoying or ridiculous to me. Especially in conversations that are pointless.
After we were finished I went up to ask the instructor Michelle a few more questions and during, I got emotional about the fact that she brought up the fear and love and that there are only those two things and we have to chose which we want to be in. It was exactly what I asked for because I am working to overcome my fears. While talking to her I felt another familiar feeling that I sometimes feel with my mother. I felt that I loved this woman and that I wanted to get all the information I could form her for my life. I wanted to take her home and ask her questions all throughout my daily life. It was similar to the feeling of missing someone that you love so much.
On my way home I realized that the person I missed was the true me inside of me and that to get more in touch with her and let her out is to meditate and go inside of myself. I have what those awesome women like Michelle, my mother and Cherene have inside of me and that is why I recognize it in them and love and miss it.
3 comments:
very cool self realization, sundy. we all have that amazing, powerful woman inside each of us. i believe that. our true selves wanting to be free. i have conversations with myself almost daily about being the woman the Lord intends me to be. to make a difference in the lives of others and myself. it takes practice, but i am always trying to get her to emerge.
Sundy it took me awhile to comment on this blog, I am so happy and proud of the women you have and are becoming. Thank you for the rich comments and for mentioning me. I love you and miss you all the time. I have been on this journey for years and I am just now seeing the true woman that I am. Keep letting your spirit be the guide and she will bring you to peace and happiness. You are that woman you want to be,just allow yourself to be. Love Jacklen(MOM)
Beautiful! You are beautiful beautiful woman. Dont ever let any one tell you differently. These experiences you are having are bringing you closer to your trueness. This experience you had sounds very simular to the experience I had at the Chopra Center. Very cool! I'm so happy to hear you are taking care of you! Wonderful!
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